The Veil Thins

Fall has arrived and is now waning.  I had anxiously awaited to embrace the height of the season, when all of the leaves had piqued in their full splendor.  I wanted to drive the back roads to absorb all of the glory of the season, where every road seems to have turned into a tunnel of fire, ablaze with orange, red, and yellow.   I wanted to walk in the woods and hear the leaves, and dried pine needles crackle underfoot; and, to breathe the cool crisp air, so welcome after the long, humid summer.  Unfortunately, the rain has arrived, and I did not afford the opportunity this year, and it has left me a disappointed.  

I can't help but think, however, that this is exactly what makes our beloved little state so special.  Each season is defined, but none more glorious than autumn. It has always been my favorite time of year.    

Something inside me changes, too.  There is a feeling, that occurs within me that I've never put into words until now, and for some reason, it occurred to me that it is definitely seasonal, and it is definitely there as we grow closer to Halloween, a.k.a. Samhain.  

I will try to explain it.  And, I am curious if others experience this, too? 

There is something innately within me that begins to shift after the Autumnal Equinox [Mabon].  Perhaps it could be described as a "creepy feeling".  It is as if something is following me, and I find myself looking out of the corner of my eye, or observing a dark corner as if I am waiting for something - or some one - to appear from it's depths.   I feel as if someone is behind me, lurking - only to turn around and find there is nothing there, but a presence seems to linger.  I have thought of someone from long ago, only to have them appear.  

Recently, I began to consider the "Thinning of the Veil" which is mainly of Celtic phenomena or legend, that occurs at Halloween.  

The belief is that the Veil begins to thin after the Autumn Equinox.  It is a time of dark mysteries and magical traditions where the "veil" between our world and the Underworld (also known as the "Otherworld") is lifted (and is the thinnest) between October 31st and November 1st, allowing the dead to convene with the living. 

In ancient times, during Halloween (which was known as "The Feast of the Dead";  or "Old Hallowmas"; or "Shadowfest" ; or "All Hallow's Eve"), the Celts would open all of their doors and windows open to both allow spirits to enter - and more importantly, -  to leave their households. 

Food was left on doorsteps for the wandering dead, apples were buried along roadsides and paths for spirits who had no descendants to provide for them or who were lost; and, candles were lit and left in windows to help guide the dead home.  All of this, and more, was an attempt to communicate with those departed and a way to guide them into Summerland.

Recently I have discovered that many, like me, also feel this "Thinning of the Veil".  Senses are heightened, we are very much in tune with nature, and our extrasensory perception is in over-drive. 

I found the following online, and it best explains what is happening to us, as the Veil "thins".  I loved how this person described the natural shift that occurs within many of us:

"The ability to feel Spirit is called clairsentience.  This ability, naturally inherent in all of us, is the ability to clearly sense the energy of those around you - both those living and those deceased. If you have the ability to sense emotions, thoughts and intentions of others or have the ability to connect and bond closely with animals by anticipating their needs, it’s likely you have high natural clear-sensing skills.

By detecting the emotions, thoughts and then using this sensory information to connect with others in empathy and compassion, you are connecting with the Spirit of another living being. And if you can connect with the Spirit of someone currently with a physical body, you can communicate and connect with the Spirit of someone currently without a physical world house - someone on the Other Side of the veil. This is because you are connecting with the Spirit of a person - not the body of a person - in almost all forms of true connection.

A veil,  a sheer and thin layer, is all that that separates the physical and the Spiritual worlds. Two very similar worlds, but based within different in levels of energy (one higher, one lower) are separated by only the types of individuals that can reside there. In the Spiritual realm, there are non-physical beings like Spirit Guides, Angels and Deceased Loved Ones and in the Physical realm, there physical beings, like humans, plants and animals. 

The human realm and the Spirit realm are essentially 'ecosystems' that live side by side, on top of each other.  An ecosystem, is a certain community of beings that are linked together through certain processes - and differences physical, energetic and environmental conditions of an area.

When two ecosystems come together, there is an invisible, yet distinct line that separates the two different habitats. In nature, this line is seen in shorelines, edges of forests, cliffs, tree layers of a rain forest, etc. These are all examples of locations where a thin wall of separation exists - where a veil is located. These are all places where a distinct line in two world meet can meet.

And these are all places where you can identify where that line is located. In the world of Spirit, the thin, yet distinct separating line, is also identifiable, except it's not always visible. Most of the time though, you can feel it. 

When you stand on the edge of this forest, right at tree line, you can start to sense what the forest might be like, even before you step into it - even when you still standing just on the edge of the meadow. You can feel the cool breeze coming out from under the shady canopy, your eyes start adjusting to the lower light in the understory of the forest. You can even begin to feel a temperature change on your skin. When you stand on the line between the two worlds, you can begin to sense properties of both.

On the edge of the veil, between the Spirit World and the Human world, you might start to sense properties of what the veil might be like, and as you walk through it, you may begin to feel physical sensations -  changes within or on your body - indicating that your body is adjusting to an ‘environmental’ change. On the edge of a veil and as you begin to walk past it, it's possible to begin to sense and interact with those on the other Side - Spirit." 

Thy soul shall find itself alone
'Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone;
Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
Into thine hour of secrecy.

Be silent in that solitude,
Which is not loneliness- for then
The spirits of the dead, who stood
In life before thee, are again
In death around thee, and their will
Shall overshadow thee; be still.

The night, though clear, shall frown,
And the stars shall not look down
From their high thrones in the Heaven
With light like hope to mortals given,
But their red orbs, without beam,
To thy weariness shall seem
As a burning and a fever
Which would cling to thee for ever.

Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish,
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
From thy spirit shall they pass
No more, like dew-drop from the grass.

The breeze, the breath of God, is still,
And the mist upon the hill
Shadowy, shadowy, yet unbroken,
Is a symbol and a token.
How it hangs upon the trees,
A mystery of mysteries! 

~Edgar Allan Poe

VooDoo

           

"Voodoo is a religion that originated from Africa in the Kongo and Fon regions approximately 6,000 years ago. "Voodoo" means "sacred" or "spirit" in Fon. They believe in a supreme god in Voodoo such as the god Bondye in Haiti. This deity is extremely powerful and intangible of humans. Only with the help of thousands of believers and spirits, can they reach Bondye, known as Ioa or Iwa in Haiti. Voodoo is a spoken tradition, so there is no one book to which a believer can refer." 

"The practitioners of Voodoo, often called Voodooists, believe the real world is intertwined with the spirit world. When we die, we pass over to that unseen realm where we can still observe and even help or harm the living. The spirit world also contains the Lwa, which embody certain characteristics, such as bravery or kindness. There are numerous spirits each possessing different degrees of each characteristic. The Voodooist seeks their counsel and advice through ceremonies and offerings. Voodoo spirits can also take over the bodies of believers, commanding those bodies to do their bidding. There are no unifying sacred writings or scripture in Voodoo."

"Beliefs in these Voodoo spirits came to the Americas with Africans who were captured as slaves more than 400 years ago. People from different villages lived and worked together in the New World and combined their traditions. Voodoo continues today in Haiti, Cuba, Brazil and New Orleans, but this Voodoo is somewhat different from the traditional African version. In the Americas, slaves often mixed their African religion with their captors' Catholicism and with Native American religious beliefs. They melded Roman Catholic saints with their familiar Voodoo spirits. Voodoo priests, like Catholic priests, are respected members of the community whose intercessions with the spirits are necessary. Priests perform healing rituals as well as provide counseling and practical help. Spirits don't just assist people with their troubles, however. Just like Christianity, Islam and several other large religions, Voodoo features malevolent spiritual figures who can act out to do harm to the living. Part of the tradition of Voodoo is this spiritual struggle between the forces of good and evil." -curiosity.com

  

" Voodoo is based on the belief in the presence of powerful yet invisible forces (les invisibles) that directly affect our lives and behavior. In times of crisis, a believer may invoke the aid of these spirits, also referred to as loa, for support and assistance. (Christians can invoke the so-called Holy Spirit for similar support.) This conception of metaphysical forces that can be both harmful and helpful is found in all religions. The ancient Greeks called them daimones. Other religions refer to them as angels and demons. (Actually, the word demon derives from daimon, but carries only the negative aspect of the daimonic.) In shamanism, they are known as spiritus familiares, "winged ones," supernatural beings not unlike angels but different: If the shaman accepts and cooperates with these spirits, they become helpful. But if he or she rejects or resists them, they turn demonic and destructive." -Psychology today

A simplified explanation of VooDoo:  From WiseGeek.com:

"The widely held image of Voodoo in the Western world is one of wax dolls with pins sticking out of them and black magic. It is, however, one of the world’s most ancient religions. Voodoo arrived in the West during the slave trading days, and the basis of the religion came from Africa. The practice as it is most widely known was structured in Haiti, where a variety of different ethnic groups amalgamated their traditions into this form of the religion.

Voodoo is a West African word meaning "spirit," and comes from term vodun. The basic ethos of the religion is that everything in the universe is connected. Nothing happens by chance in this world, and there are no accidents. Everything that one person does to another, he is doing to himself, because he is that person.

Religious ceremonies contain prayers, dancing, and rituals, as well as animal sacrifices. The figure of the snake plays a major part in the rituals, and the high priest or priestess will embody the serpent’s power. Spirits of wealth, nature, and happiness possess the bodies of believers at the ceremony. Dancing and music are also major elements. In the West, the dancing has often been portrayed as sexual, but that is not its main purpose: it's a way to connect with spirits and the spirit world.

Voodoo is an important part of family life in any community that practices it. The high priest has a great deal of influence and gives spiritual advice when it is asked for. He or she is also seen as a healer and practices with herbs and medicines. The knowledge that the high priestess has gained will have been passed along through prior generations.

Practitioners also use spells, most of which are performed to evoke good, not harm. There are healing spells, love spells, and spells to celebrate joy. The image of black magic and harmful spells was mainly founded by Europeans who had a distrust of anything African.

Voodoo is practiced as a religion in a number of countries around the world. In Brazil, it is called Candomble, and in the Caribbean, it is called Obeah. In 2003, the government of Haiti sanctioned it as an official religion, so believers can be baptized and married within the practice. It has taken centuries for this official action to happen, however, and believers say it will take more than an official show of faith to make up for the persecution that followers have had to contend with. There are millions of people in Haiti alone who share this faith."

SYMBOLS (Called Veve or Vévé ):

In Vodoun (Voodoo) practice, Veves are intricate symbols of the Loas (gods), and are used in rituals. They are similar to the sigils used in ritual magic.  Each Loa has his or her own complex veve, which is traced on the ground with powdered eggshell or a similar substance prior to a ritual. The ability to draw a Veve correctly is considered to be a particular skill of the initiate. A veve is believed to be more powerful if it is drawn with the correct details.

OTHER SOURCES:

http://www.omplace.com/articles/Voodoo_History.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_African_Vodun

http://www2.webster.edu/~corbetre/haiti/voodoo/biglist.htm

Looking for an online voodoo spell? Try this link:
 http://www.ancientvoodoo.com/spell.php

Ethan Allen's Daughter

Surely, YOU, as a proud Vermonter, have heard of Ethan Allen?  Our Revolutionary War Hero and Founder of the Republic of Vermont, who, along with The Green Mountain Boys, captured Fort Ticonderoga with Benedict Arnold to prevent the British forces from marching onto Boston - taking control of Crown Point, New York.  

General Allen's venerated name is one we are all familiar and well acquainted; however, comparatively many people do not make an association with his daughter, Fanny, who forged her own path in Vermont history.

Sister Margaret "Fanny" Frances Allen portrait, Artist and date is unknown.

"Fanny" Allen was born on November 13, 1784 in Sunderland, Vermont.  Frances Margaret Allen was the youngest daughter of General Allen, and his second wife, Frances (Buchanan) Allen.  5 years later, Ethan Allen died and Frances married Dr. Jabez Penniman.

Up until the time Fanny turned 23 years of age, the family moved and lived in Colchester, Burlington, Westminster, and Swanton.  In 1807, Fanny sought the permission of her parents to study French in Montreal, at which time her parents put her in a select Convent school at the Congregation of Notre Dame where she became a boarder and soon after, urgently desired to seek admission into the Catholic Church.  She sought the necessary instruction to make her solemn abjuration and was baptized by Father L. Saulnier, and resolved to adopt a religious life.

Perhaps it was during this time in her life that she had recalled a vision which occurred to her along the banks of the Connecticut River in Westminster, where, after a traumatic event, she claimed that St. Joseph appeared to her to save her life.  

Another version of her chosen path is said to have come from visiting a chapel of Notre Dame where she was "overwhelmed by an experience from God."

Which ever story is true, and to her own amazement, Sister Allen began a path of complete devotion and steadfast resolve to immerse her life in the Divine.  What makes this so astonishing is that her biological father, as well as the parents who raised her, avoided the Church (Protestant and otherwise), and in early life, Fanny rejected the Catholic religion as fanatical and mysterious.

"At 19 years of age, Fanny became a pupil in the

convent boarding school of the Sisters of the

Congregation of Notre Dame in Montreal and

was almost kicked-out for her irreverence of

Catholic forms and ceremonies until she had a

sudden change of heart. On the Feast of the

Nativity, September 9, 1807, Fanny asked to be

instructed in the faith." - fannyallen.org

When her parents got wind of her conversion, their reaction was explosive and disgraceful.  They demanded her immediate return. It is said that her resolve and stubbornness to remain in her new vocation, despite the fact that her parents tried every conceivable ploy to deter her, was much in the same spirit as her father.  Eventually, and with much opposition, she "inherited much of the energy and decision of her father's character, controlled by womanly gentleness."  

It should be noted that prior to her religious experience and announcement to become a Catholic nun, Fanny had graduated from the University of Vermont, and at that time was engaged to be married to a man by the name of Archibald Hyde.

"She broke off her engagement with Archibald Hyde and returned to Montreal to the convent.  Upon seeing a painting of St. Joseph and the Holy Family at Hotel-Dieu, she was reminded of a vision as a child and knew she must join the R.H.S.J. On March 18, 1811, reconciled with her mother, Frances Montresor Allen, and stepfather, Dr. Jabez Penniman who financed her convent expenses."  - fannyallen.org

Fanny Allen was described by Bishop de Geosbriand in his memoirs as:  "In person she was rather above than below medium height, and of uncommon beauty in form and feature.  Her complexion was fair, her eyes dark blue, with a singular depth and calmness of expression, while the dignity and ease of her manners gave quiet evidence to the refinement and loveliness of her character."

Fanny Allen returned to the City of Montreal (ironically the place where her father had been captive and held a prisoner of war), where she sought admission to the Convent of the Sisters (and Hospital) of St. Joseph through the respected Mother Superior, Mother de Celeron.  For a short time, admission was delayed, but on September 29, 1808, she became a Novice of the Congregation until May 18, 1811 when she professed in a ceremony at which many native Vermonters were present.  After this, hundreds of followers came to Montreal who mistakenly thought that she had shut herself away in a monastery.  She politely received all of the curious visitors and assured them that this was indeed the right path for her, and she had not become a recluse, but rather a servant of God.  

Hotel Dieu, 1865

Sister Allen worked as Hotel-Dieu's chemist (pharmacist) and spent the rest of her short life nursing the sick and indigent.  She cared for wounded soldiers from both sides during the War of 1812.  She contracted a disease of the lungs (called consumption at that time) and died of tuberculosis in 1819 at the very young age of just 35 years old.

Sister Margaret "Fanny" Frances Allen is frequently referred to as "The First Nun of New England."   This is not true.  Fanny Allen was the 5th (fifth) New Englander to dedicate her life to God in a Canadian Congregation.  BUT, she WAS the FIRST American of PURITAN stock to become a Nun.

In 1894 the Sisters of her order founded Fanny Allen Hospital in Colchester in her memory. 

For more information about Fanny Allen's life, the book "Ethan Allen's Daughter", is considered an antiquarian (rare) book of her young life.  It was written by Sister Helen Morrissey whose subtitle description included: "The Beautiful American Nun," detailing a romance of Ms. Allen's life as the result of exhaustive research and interviews.  It was originally published in 1940, and has since been re-released.  It is available on line, and you can read it on Kindle.

STICKS AND STONES

Giving life to words:  Words to life.

Hate.  Love.

Shame.  Pride.

Fear.  Hope.

Boredom.  Satisfaction.

Envy.  Trust.

Anxious.  Calm.

Sadness.  Happiness.

Doubt.  Courage.

Selfish.  Generous.

Liar.  Honest.

As you may know, the old adage that "opposites attract" isn't always accurate. Bittersweet. Oil and Water...and so on.  Read the words above.  Visualize the word.  Then visualize its meaning.   If you want to give life to words, then make them positive. 

Someone once said to me that the word "hate" should not be in any one's vocabulary.  It was very powerful. Today, I am reflecting on that.

I have learned the hard way to keep my mouth shut and most importantly I have learned the *Golden Rule is something that I understand and value.  In fact, the "Golden Rule" has actually been incorporated into virtually every major religion.  In the "heat of the moment" sometimes it is difficult to look at yourself because you believe what you are saying is true. A valuable lesson is stop in the moment, turn it around, onto yourself.

Name calling - "Use of profane, derogatory or dehumanizing terminology to describe another individual or group."  Another term for this, may be verbal abuse.

Name calling is used to hurt or disparage others.  It is often used when there is an emotional based moment, from which has very little or no supporting logic.

[For the purpose of demonstrating my point, I will use the terms "He" and "She", "Her", "Him", etc.]

She is attempting to hide her own feelings of inferiority by striving for superiority.  It is easy for her to project her own feelings of shame, guilt, fear, anger - any negative emotion - on to him.  This is her method of escape from her own pain, difficulties or self image. It is an inferiority complex, coupled with a superiority complex, as one does not exist without the other.

He is the target.

Sadly, he, the target, has become conditioned to accept her abuse because of his own feelings of worthlessness.  These feelings are the direct result of having been repeatedly beaten down by her verbal abuse.

She feels so bad about herself, or is so insecure that by labeling him "stupid" or "dumb" or "lazy",  makes her feel superior.

Over time, he may begin to believe it, and is sucked into her vortex of emotional blackmail.  He may eventually think that without her, he could not survive.  He may begin to believe that her words are true.

He may become defensive - attempting to hold on to that one last shred of dignity or attempting to use logic as the volley for her barbed projections.  This will not work as a defense because her emotions are too tightly bound to the moment.  He cannot validate the circumstances because of her emotional tirade.

She is striving for superiority over him, because this is the way in which she maintains control.

As time goes on, he feels weak, believing he is useless or worthless which ultimately gives her more power to continue her outbursts and/or projections.  

Ordinarily she may actually feel bad about her words, and may express it but without continually being conscience of the notion that "words do hurt", the psychological effect may have already scarred him.

It will not be easy to mend the tapestry woven in hurtful and demeaning words, for patches are a temporary fix.  Words from her may include (the classic) "I'm sorry, but you - - -." Or, "if you would just -  -  -."   Stitching along an already weakened seam will most likely result in another blow out.  The long term effects and emotional trauma can last a life time.

Words hurt as much as a physical blow:

A couple of years ago, I was shopping in Walmart.  A child was crying sitting in the shopping cart while his Mother repeatedly told him to shut up, while she continued to fill her cart with clothing, talk loudly on the phone and ignored the child.  The child continued to cry and Mom - the person from whom the child should experience trust and comfort and love - walked over the the child and slapped him twice.  Once on the face and once on the back of the head.  I could tell that the slap was hard as I watched the little boy's head be knocked forward and then backward, and the sound was clear and loud.

I remember - all at once - experiencing a sense of utter shock, and immediately feeling my arms and legs go weak, cringing in horror and a sickened panic in my stomach. My adrenaline and heart raced.

I experience the same feelings when I hear people call one another, or each other names.

How it feels to be on the receiving end:

When negative messages are repeatedly conveyed, many reactions may occur:

Self esteem is destroyed.  After being continually belittled, the message that he receives is that the person who loves him or is important to him, doesn't like him or thinks less of him than he actually deserves.

Self criticism and negative thinking is a way that he may begin to believe that he is stupid or lazy or no good.  When these messages are repeatedly conveyed, the pattern of self-criticism and negative thinking follows him.

He may begin to ask himself "What is wrong with me?" or a natural reaction may be that he begins to believe that he is not worthy or that he is stupid or he really is lazy, resulting in depression, anxiety, loss, hopelessness.  A very natural reaction to hurtful words.

Verbal or emotional abuse conveys that the he "is worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, endangered or only of value in meeting someone else’s needs".  It may include other ways of shaming, ridiculing or humiliating him:

Ignoring him by being cold and not supportive, and to withdraw comfort as a means of discipline or getting back at him.

Rejecting him or dismissing his feelings.  This leads to feelings of doubt, sadness, loneliness.

Describing him negatively to family, friends or coworkers by belittling, or calling him names or degrading him. 

Setting constant or unrealistic goals so that when goals are not met, can lead to conflict.

She may withhold affection, sex or love as a means of punishment.

Slamming doors, throwing objects, stomping floors or pounding furniture may be used as a means to frighten or intimidate.

Verbal aggression may lead to physical aggression or destructive behavior.

Verbal abuse or name calling may interfere with a person's social interaction and behavior.  They may become aggressive as a way to mask their feelings or withdrawn, afraid of further ridicule, become aloof of disconnected or indifferent.

It destroys his confidence. 

Alcoholism and substance abuse may escalate or become a problem.

She may think that this raises herself on the proverbial pedestal, but in reality, it only strengthens her own inferiority.  Most people can see through it, though she may have talked herself into believing that she is right or that others cannot see the truth.  In reality, she is a bully - she appears very small.


Stop the Madness!

Are you in the throws of a self-absorbed little tirade projecting your hatred out onto that someone you love?

Stop.

Take a very deep breath or two and look at yourself.  Picture yourself in the mirror.  Do you like what you see - in the moment?

Sticks and Stones...

THE NITTY-GRITTY from twoofus.org:

"Toxic relationships threaten, damage or even destroy those involved in them. In most areas of our life, toxic relationships are easy to spot … and avoid. We tend to dislike and avoid toxic people. 

When it comes to romance, however, feelings of desire and euphoria can sometimes mask the more hazardous aspects of a relationship. Love is not only blind; it can also be blinding. If you want to have a healthy relationship, however, you need to be able to view your relationship clearly and objectively.

Relationships are about loving, respecting and supporting each other. If you find yourself being ridiculed, manipulated, or otherwise mistreated, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. Here are some behaviors to be wary of:

Chronic or explosive anger:

Every couple fights—this is natural and not inherently damaging. The manner in which you argue, however, is important. Even during your worst arguments, you should never resort to name-calling or insults. Screaming is generally counterproductive and can be a form of intimidation. And if your arguments escalate to a point that they become physical—breaking objects, punching walls etc.—your relationship definitely is not healthy.

Verbal abuse or humiliation:

Does your significant other criticize or belittle you?  Does he or she crack jokes at your expense, yell at you, or embarrass you—in private or in front of others?  A healthy relationship focuses on the happiness and well-being of each other, not humiliation and degradation.

Unmanaged addiction:

The nature of addiction often prompts the addict to act against his/her self-interest, in the form of health risks, questionable judgment or illegal activity. By doing so, the addict also fails to act in the best interest of his/her partner. No matter how well-intentioned your partner may be, addiction often drives people to incredibly dangerous and selfish behaviors. Addiction is not restricted to just drugs or alcohol; addiction to sex, gambling, food, or pornography can also have negative effects on intimate relationships. If your partner is an addict and is unwilling or unable to control his/her addiction, your relationship and possibly your safety are in serious jeopardy.

Extreme or irrational jealousy:

Does your partner constantly demand an account of your whereabouts and cross-examine you when you get home? Is he or she irrationally jealous? If you have a history of betraying or lying to your partner, he or she may (understandably) be a little reluctant to trust you again. However, if there is no logical basis for your partner’s jealousy, he or she may simply be possessive or controlling.

Manipulation:

Does your partner twist words or situations to his/her advantage? Does your significant other use the silent treatment when he/she doesn’t get their way? Perhaps they withhold affection or intimacy? Manipulation comes in many forms, but regardless of the method, it is fundamentally unfair.

Control:

Does your partner try to control where you are, what you do, who you speak to, or how you dress?  Controlling behavior is expressed in a number of ways, but its goal is to eliminate your ability to choose. This behavior will leave you powerless and fearfully dependent, if it continues.

Isolation:

If you find your partner asking you to constantly cancel plans with friends or family members in order to spend time with him/her, they may be deliberately trying to alienate you from others. Healthy relationships should include your friends and family. You should never allow yourself to be isolated completely from the people who love and care about you.

Physical or sexual abuse:

Many of the factors described above—jealousy, controlling behavior, verbal abuse and threats—also put your relationship at higher risk of physical abuse.  Even if your partner hasn't become physically violent yet, such behaviors are warning signals that violence could develop.

Abuse is never, ever, ever OK—no matter how much you love your partner, no matter how much you think he or she loves you. In abusive situations, you may feel like there is no way out … but there is. If you are in an abusive relationship, call your local  Domestic Violence Hotline.

People in unhealthy relationships often assert that, despite all appearances to the contrary, his/her partner really loves them.   But true love doesn't masquerade as anything else—certainly not abuse, cruelty, or manipulation.

True love dresses itself simply, truthfully. It does not distort, it does not conceal. It is cut from the fabric of respect. Listen to your instincts. If you feel fearful, tense or intimated around your significant other, your relationship is most likely an unhealthy one."

WORDS TO PONDER: 

Physical abuse might leave scars but verbal abuse leaves invisible scars that never heal. The impact of verbal abuse on the weak or vulnerable,  will last a lifetime.

"Words may be forgiven, but never forgotten."

"Words don't have the power to hurt you, unless the person who says them means a lot to you."

      

"It is good to control your words and thoughts. The seeker who is in control feels free and joyful. Listen to that seeker who guards his tongue and speaks wisely. Such a one is humble and does not exalt himself." - Dhammapada

"It is not whether your words or actions are tough or gentle; it is the spirit behind your actions and words that announces your inner state."  - Chin-Ning Chu

"Never accept words meant to hurt. Turn them back because they are the responsibility of the speaker. When you are caught off guard, hold the emotions in silence for a moment and tell them to be still. It takes longer to forget than it does to forgive - and time heals when we give it the power."  - Joyce S. Hifler

"A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed."  - Henrik Ibsen

"Words are alive. Cut them and they bleed."  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

*LESSON/MANTRA:  

LIVE BY "THE GOLDEN RULE"

Native Spirituality
"We are as much alive as we keep the earth alive." 

Baha’i Faith
"Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the things you would not desire for yourself." 

Buddhism
"Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful." 

Christianity
"In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets".

Confucianism
"One word which sums up the basis of all good conduct . . . loving-kindness. Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself. " 

Hinduism
"This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you." 

Islam
"Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself. " 

Jainism
"One should treat all creatures in the world as one would like to be treated." 

Judaism
"What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah; all the rest is commentary. Go and learn it." 

Sikhism
"I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all."  

Taoism
"Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss." 

Unitarianism
"We affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part."

Wiccan
"Thou hast obeyed the Law. But mark well, when thou receivest good, so equally art bound to return good threefold”.   "An'  it harm none, Do what thou wilt.”

Zoroastrianism
"Do not do unto others whatever is injurious to yourself." 



ASK YOURSELF: 
What does the future look like, to me?  

...In my personal relationship, we do not use unkind words to one another; never, ever call each other names or degrade each other.  We are fortunate to have unconditional love and pure acceptance of one another.  Sure, we've been through a few rough patches, but when you love someone, you work it out.  You talk, don't yell.  You tell the truth and move forward.  We say 'please' and 'thank you' and 'I love you' and mean it, every day.

....I sure hope this is my future with Ol' Rusty, just chilling out and growing old, together....

Peace Out and