Christmas Traditions - Stockings

Generic 1960's Christmas Tree

Every family has it's own Christmas traditions and our family was no exception.  

During the 60's and 70's when I grew up, our parents would set up a TV tray for Santa, on which we left cookies and milk.  Then, they would shoo us all into bed telling us that Santa wouldn't come if we were awake.  

I think my father was more excited than we were, as he would call us all down early in the morning, to tell us 'hurry up!  Santa had come!'  I remember scrambling down the 1/2 spiral staircase and looking out the window of our front door to see if I could see Santa's footprints or some clue to tell if he had really come.  I also don't recall ever not having a lot of snow on the ground.  In my mind, I can envision the endless white town looking through the glass panes.

Our family's tradition began with an orderly moment of being given our Christmas stockings.  In each stocking, contained an orange or two, an apple, various shelled nuts and a small toy such as Jax, or playing cards, or a small toy and some hard Christmas candies.  I don't remember any of us kids ever actually eating the fruit, because after that, all hell would break loose, as Dad sat in front of the tree, doling out our gifts.  Dad would sometimes hand them to us, sometimes toss them - always laughing.  We would tear them open, complete with sound effects, "oooohhh"  and "aaaahhh" and "yay!"......I miss my Papa.

It was always fun to see from whom we received our gifts, as my parents would make up funny (silly) gift tags indicating  our presents were from various famous people, and each one would have a personal meaning, or they would only have a purpose of being funny.  We would laugh a lot. For instance, our gift tags would read something like:

To: David
From: Cheech and Chong

To: Diana
From: Paul McCartney

To: Denise
From: Flip Wilson

To: Donald
From: Larry, Moe and Curley

Thinking back, and realizing that my parents never had a lot of money, but they sure made every effort to make our Christmas a special occasion.  And they never failed.

Today, I was curious if other children had received similar Christmas stockings and wondered from where my parents had found this idea.  

I discovered this interesting explanation of the fruits and nuts in a stocking tradition, from brookhavenmarket.com: 

"In doing ... research it appears the custom actually began in the 1880s with the advent of the cross continental railway system.  By the twentieth century, Santa Claus, working with the local seasonal availability of fresh oranges around winter time, made it possible for most American children to get a fresh orange, tangerine or Clementine at the bottom of their stocking on Christmas."

"OK, so that explains part of the tradition, but just where did the idea of putting fruit in a stocking originate?  For that answer we need to go back a bit further to St. Nicholas, the precursor of jolly old Santa.  Born in a village on the shore of what is now part of Turkey, he inherited a fortune but spent his life helping the poor and the persecuted, and eventually became a bishop in the new Christian church.  

Three Impoverished Maidens or 
The Story of The Dowries

As the story goes, Bishop Nicholas learned of a poor man with three daughters who had no dowries and hence could not find suitors to marry them.  The next night Nicholas returned and tossed three bags of gold for the daughters' dowries through the chimney, which happened to land in the stockings of the three maidens which they had hung to dry in front of the fireplace.  The bags of gold turned into balls of gold which are now symbolized by oranges.  Bishop Nicholas is often portrayed in pictures wearing the red ceremonial robes and miter (or headdress) and holding the staff of a bishop, as well as holding three gold balls, gold coins, or pieces of fruit."
-brookhavenmarket.com

Fighting the Christmas Blues

I will admit, there is a certain melancholy that lingers around me at Christmas time. From where it comes, I am not certain.  Since my late teenage years, the whole month of December has felt like one long lament.  It is comforting to know that I am not alone:

Psychology Today writes,

"We are told that Christmas, for Christians, should be the happiest time of year, an opportunity to be joyful and grateful with family, friends and colleagues. Yet, according to the National Institute of Health, Christmas is the time of year that people experience the highest incidence of depression. Hospitals and police forces report the highest incidences of suicide and attempted suicide. Psychiatrists, psychologists and other mental health professionals report a significant increase in patients complaining about depression. One North American survey reported that 45% of respondents dreaded the festive season."

These are not happy statistics, are they?  

BUT WHY???

"Is it because of the dark winter weather that increases the incidence of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Certainly those may be some reasons, but it appears to have more to do with unrealistic expectations and excessive self-reflection for many people."

Vermont DeadLine says:  Amen.  I am always amazed at the frenzy that occurs for one day of the year.  Yes, it is a very special day, but to me, the element of greed and "I" is almost overwhelming. I try to avoid busy shopping centers like the plague. 

The experience of Christmas shopping, to me, must be a leisurely stroll absent of screaming kids and stressed people.  I have a hard time with crowded places... but that's another story.

I believe the best part of the day is when a family sits down to eat dinner together, and then the time after the meal where we all relax together.   

A very long time ago, I spent a Christmas eve in New Brunswick and attended a midnight, candle-lit service at a packed Protestant church.  At the end of it, we all lit a candle and held it while the entire congregation sang "Silent Night" in acapella.  I will tell you that there wasn't a dry eye in the place...it was incredibly moving and I felt the spirit of Christmas.

Perhaps this is what is missing?  No person-to-person spiritual connection?  No inner fulfillment?  Like the body, our souls needs nourishment, too.  

Psychology Today goes on to say, 

"For some people, they get depressed at Christmas and even angry because of the excessive commercialization of Christmas, with the focus on gifts and the emphasis on "perfect" social activities. Other get depressed because Christmas appears to be a trigger to engage in excessive self-reflection and rumination about the inadequacies of life (and a "victim" mentality) in comparison with other people who seem to have more and do more.  

Still others become anxious at Christmas because of the pressure (both commercial and self-induced) to spend a lot of money on gifts and incur increasing debt. Other people report that they dread Christmas because of the expectations for social gatherings with family, friends and acquaintances that they'd rather not spend time with. And finally, many people feel very lonely at Christmas, because they have suffered the loss of loved ones or their jobs.

So what should you do, if you're among those who get depressed at Christmas? Mental health professionals who treat people with this problem suggest the following:

*first, if the depression is serious, seek out the help of a qualified mental health professional;

*set personal boundaries regarding the money spent on gifts and the number of social events;

*don't accept any "perfect" representation of Christmas that the media, institutions or other people try to make you believe. Lower your expectations and any attachment to what it should look like; be present and enjoy each moment as best you can;

*become involved in giving in a non-monetary way through charities and worthwhile causes that help less fortunate people;

*be grateful for what you have in your life, rather than focusing on what you don't have;

*avoid excessive rumination about your life; 

*take action and do interesting and fun things;

*if you are religious, take part in church activities that focus on the bigger meaning of Christmas;

*focus your thoughts on all the good things about Christmas--the opportunity to engage in loving kindness, generosity of spirit, and gratitude for others in your life.


*The Christmas season has become a difficult time for many people in our society. For those of us who don't have difficulties at this time of year, it's an opportunity to reach out to those who become depressed. 

*For those who are depressed, it's an opportunity to take action to think, feel and act in ways that breaks free from the past." -psychology today

Peace Be With You.